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Ok so its been decided that the next hurdle is the exercise. So came up with a little plan today - Sunday or Saturday will be bridges day. Gonna grab me a mate and my dogs and go for a wonder. Not sure how long the walk is but I know its a decent one. Also gonna aim to walk the dogs everyday.

Oh and sort the diet out. Damn Easter - almost cleared the fridge out - almost! Only downside - now I'm a craving it like you would not believe!

Plus side I have an awesome boyfriend who is being super supportive and its moments like this that make me love him all the more. Makes everything easier if you have a good support system and I have the best one out. Though he keeps telling me I don't have a loose a kilo, but if I want to, he'll help out where he can.

Will keep you posted on the progress - if I had more confidence I'd post the numbers - but feeling self-conscious right now so it's not happening!

Raw foods?

So I've been thinking today more about this weight thing and my lack of will power. Did I mention I was thinking about it whilst eating an easter bunny? All I can say is get those bunnies outta my fridge - may increase the chances of all this working.

So am contemplating attempting a raw food diet. Looks interesting. But at the same time it appears to be a big change from my norm so I wonder if my will power will just not be strong enough. It also seems to have alot of nuts - can't stand the things. I need something thats easy - I know right - another overweight person looking for an easy fix. Ok so maybe I need to just stop being so weak and just suck it up - the weight needs shifting!

If anyone out there in journalling world has any suggestions, fancy sharing? I'm especially interested if its worked for you!

Growing up

Ok so I think the alcohol is almost all warn off (I'm a cadbury I know) and its making me feel insightful. Ok maybe not insightful but making me think all the same. I'm in my twenties and isn't it about time I grow up and stop being childish. So here's a few things that need some changing:

- debt needs to be paid (need to stop spending on the credit card)
- need to do adultly things like regular car cleaning etc.
- sort the health out - teeth, heart etc

That's all I can come up with right now. It's not a bad starting point though right?

alcohol & arrhythmia

I'm going to be clear right from the start - I'm writing this with a Raspberry UDL open (3 empties in the bin also). BTW Yum! When I first turned 18 (yep I waited until I was 18) vodka was my drink of choice. Vodka Cruisers were almost all that I drank. Then as I got older it was Bourbon - currently my favourite is Jim Beam Devils Cut - if you haven't had it - DO IT! Lately I've been re-living my youth and its been vodka all the way. There was a Tequilla stage in the middle somewhere - but I don't remember much of that (surprise surprise). Wow I just made myself out to be some kind of an alcoholic! Nope not me. When I was younger it was almost every weekend - now I'm lucky if it's once a month - more then likely every couple of months. Even then it's only 3-4 drinks if I'm lucky.

Anyways distracted already.

I'm sure its not me. Well I know its not just me following consulting Dr Google - alcohol makes my arrythmia worse. Shock horror, how the fuck did I not realise this? I think we all think we're invincible, I know I did. Sometimes I like to pretend I still am. Oh to be a kid again and not have to worry about the things I do now. All that aside, I began to wonder - am I doing myself no favours my drinking? My cardiologist told me straight up it was fine - but I wonder whether they may be wrong. Chest pain for me is not abnormal- in fact it happens sometimes more then once a week - may not hang around long - but damn its annoying. And if its really being annoying it hangs about on and off and I just want to sleep. Now don't get me wrong - from a medical point of view I'm managing the problem (medication etc) but I'm thinking maybe my lifestyle choices need to be adapted.

Once again I can hear the collective Duh! I'm doing a lot of things wrong am sure. The weight is definently a problem - it has been for as long as I can remember. But lets not get me all depressed when I'm feeling kinda awesome. Alcohol. I think maybe it needs to be gone. I was sitting playing with one of the dogs and next thing I know the pain hits to the point I felt dizzy. This in itself is not abnormal but looking back I seem to always have a few episodes whilst relaxing with a drink.

So maybe the first goal to work on is being Alcohol free. They say when you make goals to make them realistic - so how bout we aim for 6 months first. 6 months alcohol free. I'm gonna say now the biggest hurdle there will be my birthday which is within the next 6 months. But it's about time I grow some balls and stick to my goal. I can do this.

After tonight (on my 4th and last drink) I will be alcohol free for 6 months


Everything starts with an intention.

Like from January 1st 2013 I was going to go on a diet and some weight - it started as a good intention - I even started - lost almost 10kgs - then life got in the way. When life intervene's it doesn't matter how strong the intent - it almost always all falls apart.

Ok ok so I'm weak willed. I should be stronger willed. I've had my fair share of crap in my life - and someone stronger would've made the changes that would directly impact upon there life. I've been told for more then one reason that losing weight will make my life better. Now just to be clear, my life isnt shit - it's actually kinda awesome.

I have an amazing boyfriend - who despite his fair share of hurdles - still keeps fighting and comes out smiling. I love him with my whole heart and until I met him I never realised what on Earth love was (cheesy I know). Oh and I did I mention he's smoking hot? We must look odd when we are out together - he's hot, sexy and loves to work out - and me well I have a lot of weight to lose.

My family are also awesome - and so are his. Though at times my family drive me nuts and I will do anything to avoid them - I love them a lot. His family are also awesome and like mine drive me nuts with their disorganisation but they have made me feel so welcome and I couldn't ask for better inlaws.

My job is stressful - but I couldn't imagine doing anything else and at the end of the day I go home knowing I've done something good. My pets are very cute and loveable and super naughty.

But I feel like I am once again off track.

My newest intention is to tackle my goals or dreams - one at a time. But just to be clear - some of them are going to seem stupid and seem like they shouldn't be dreams/goals. But suck it - this is my blog and I'm gonna write it.

I'm not gonna write them all now because if I did I'm sure I'd keep updating the list every 3 seconds - so I think instead I'll just start by telling you the biggest dream of all - I want the boyfriend to ask me to marry him. I want it so bad I even started to write a list of things that needed to be arranged - ok now I'm sure you're thinking I'm a crazy person - I promise I'm not.

But lets be honest - if you agree with that, are you just agreeing with a crazy person?



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April 2013


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